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DAY 8 EVENT 1 - GIRL Last month I noticed that my daughter had straight up bad breath. I don’t know if she had eaten something on that day or thrown up or was curdling limburger cheese in her cheeks but it was foul. Rank. Rancid. She’d come and sit on my lap and start to laugh…
DAY 7 EVENT 1 - GIRL I think that little dolls probably scare pretty much everyone… so you’ll understand why I get shivers up my spine when my daughter (who pretty much resembles a 2 1/2 foot tall, walking Cabbage Patch Doll) looks you dead in the eyes, right down into your soul and says,…
DAY 6 EVENT 1 - BOY My mom sent me a ton of balloons for my 30th birthday; balloons that are now floating through the rooms and hallways of my house like haunting specters, their strings dangling from the ceiling like colorful tendrils. I try to imagine what my children must be thinking since this is,…
DAY 5 EVENT 1 - GIRL At night, when we put our kids to sleep, we have a pretty standard routine that plays something like this… Change diapers while they struggle. Put children in pajamas while they struggle. Play in bedroom, which lately has consisted of sliding the closet door open and closed, open and closed,…
DAY 4 – My 30th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVENT 1 - BOY My son is fearless… either that or foolish enough to not realize that he’s in danger. He tries to run off docks into deep, frigid waters. He leaps from furniture blindly. He pulls fans off tables, looking for free haircuts. Typically he screams, “RORY!” just before…